Expert findings from Daniel G. Amen, M.D. and Grad L. Flick, Ph.d.
From the Expert: Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
In his book Healing ADD: the breakthrough program that allows you to see and heal the 6 types of ADD, Amen discusses strategies for parents to cope with and help curb some of the negative effects of ADHD. "These strategies may seem simple, yet can have a lasting positive effect on the child with ADHD as well as the entire family system", Amen says.
1) Relationship.The first idea Amen puts forth is that the parents should form a quality relationship with their child, including spending some special time with just that child, even if only a few minutes are available. This helps the child to feel important and cared about, which lead to an increase in self-esteem.
2) Listen. Amen says that being a good listener to the child is also key. He believes that listening to the child's opinion and thoughts before speaking helps the child feel that their opinion matters.
3) Expectations. The next approach is a compound process. The first part is to be very clear of the expectations of the child. Be as explicit as possible so that the rules of the house are crystal clear. Next, take note of when the child lives up to those expectations and reinforce appropriately in order to continue the good behavior.
4) Rules. This next method may seem harsh, yet is important. Amen says that standing by what you say and meaning what you say is crucial. Do not feel guilty if a child is unhappy due to punishments or rules that are necessary.
5) Consequences. Amen goes on to advise parents to never repeat rules or orders to children. It should be expected that the child complete a task after being asked only once. If the child does not do this, punishment is necessary. The punishment should be swift and clear. This means that the punishment should immediately follow the child's wrongdoing. This should be the case with every punishment.
6) Choice. This next plan deals more with choices that the child can have. Amen says that it is vital that the child has choices when it comes to what to wear, eat, do, etc.. This allows the child to be able to make decisions for themselves later on in life. If the child has all of his decisions made for him, the child will not have much of a decision making ability.
7) Parenting. In order for the family to function properly, Amen says that it is important that the parents stick together. Parenting is a joint effort in most cases. When children can split the parents apart, the child has more power than the parents. Parents that stick together hold the power in the house, and can create a healthy living environment together. Along with that, parents also need time to themselves. Parenting is a job, and with jobs come breaks. When a parent can not relax and regain energy, there is no energy left to raise children properly.
8) Punishment. The last important approach put forward by Amen is that it never appropriate to hit or yell at a child with ADHD. Many kids with ADHD play a game in which they try to see how far they can push the emotions of their care takers before they break an explode. If this is the case and the parent loses their cool, the child has won. The object is not to beat the child at their game, but to remain calm and continue to parent as best as possible.
Along with the strategies that Amen discusses for dealing with ADHD in the house, Amen also devises a strategy for shaping positive behaviors for children with ADHD. This process can applied to anyone.
1) Define what behaviors the child should elicit and what behaviors the child should not. This step is vital, as this step lets the child know what is expected from them.
2) Establish a period of how often the desired and undesired behaviors occur.
3) Rules and expectations must be relayed to the child as clearly as possible. In order for the child to behave properly, the child needs to know explicitly what is expected of them.
4) After the child is aware of what is expected of them, the behaviors that are desired need to be rewarded. This helps the child to associate the behavior they just elicited with what their parent wants of them.
5). If the child behaves in a way that is not desired, that behavior needs to be punished through unemotional consequences. It is very important here that the consequences is given without strong emotion so that the child is aware that the parent is still in control of the situation. 1
In his book Healing ADD: the breakthrough program that allows you to see and heal the 6 types of ADD, Amen discusses strategies for parents to cope with and help curb some of the negative effects of ADHD. "These strategies may seem simple, yet can have a lasting positive effect on the child with ADHD as well as the entire family system", Amen says.
1) Relationship.The first idea Amen puts forth is that the parents should form a quality relationship with their child, including spending some special time with just that child, even if only a few minutes are available. This helps the child to feel important and cared about, which lead to an increase in self-esteem.
2) Listen. Amen says that being a good listener to the child is also key. He believes that listening to the child's opinion and thoughts before speaking helps the child feel that their opinion matters.
3) Expectations. The next approach is a compound process. The first part is to be very clear of the expectations of the child. Be as explicit as possible so that the rules of the house are crystal clear. Next, take note of when the child lives up to those expectations and reinforce appropriately in order to continue the good behavior.
4) Rules. This next method may seem harsh, yet is important. Amen says that standing by what you say and meaning what you say is crucial. Do not feel guilty if a child is unhappy due to punishments or rules that are necessary.
5) Consequences. Amen goes on to advise parents to never repeat rules or orders to children. It should be expected that the child complete a task after being asked only once. If the child does not do this, punishment is necessary. The punishment should be swift and clear. This means that the punishment should immediately follow the child's wrongdoing. This should be the case with every punishment.
6) Choice. This next plan deals more with choices that the child can have. Amen says that it is vital that the child has choices when it comes to what to wear, eat, do, etc.. This allows the child to be able to make decisions for themselves later on in life. If the child has all of his decisions made for him, the child will not have much of a decision making ability.
7) Parenting. In order for the family to function properly, Amen says that it is important that the parents stick together. Parenting is a joint effort in most cases. When children can split the parents apart, the child has more power than the parents. Parents that stick together hold the power in the house, and can create a healthy living environment together. Along with that, parents also need time to themselves. Parenting is a job, and with jobs come breaks. When a parent can not relax and regain energy, there is no energy left to raise children properly.
8) Punishment. The last important approach put forward by Amen is that it never appropriate to hit or yell at a child with ADHD. Many kids with ADHD play a game in which they try to see how far they can push the emotions of their care takers before they break an explode. If this is the case and the parent loses their cool, the child has won. The object is not to beat the child at their game, but to remain calm and continue to parent as best as possible.
Along with the strategies that Amen discusses for dealing with ADHD in the house, Amen also devises a strategy for shaping positive behaviors for children with ADHD. This process can applied to anyone.
1) Define what behaviors the child should elicit and what behaviors the child should not. This step is vital, as this step lets the child know what is expected from them.
2) Establish a period of how often the desired and undesired behaviors occur.
3) Rules and expectations must be relayed to the child as clearly as possible. In order for the child to behave properly, the child needs to know explicitly what is expected of them.
4) After the child is aware of what is expected of them, the behaviors that are desired need to be rewarded. This helps the child to associate the behavior they just elicited with what their parent wants of them.
5). If the child behaves in a way that is not desired, that behavior needs to be punished through unemotional consequences. It is very important here that the consequences is given without strong emotion so that the child is aware that the parent is still in control of the situation. 1
Grad L. Flick, Ph.D. discusses in his book Power Parenting for Children with ADD/ADHD: A Practical Parent's Guide for Managing Difficult Behaviors various ways to help children with ADHD to focus on homework. Many parents of children that have ADHD know firsthand that it is extremely difficult for children that have ADHD to focus on a task such as homework. Flick has devised a strategy that he believes will help parents to help their children do their homework. Flick says that the environment that the homework is done in is the main point of the issue.
There are five steps to accomplishing Flick's idea. The first is to have a specific time for the child to do their homework. This is to let the child know that at a certain time it is time to focus on homework, not games or friends. The goal here is to have the child only focus on one thing for a specific time.
The next step is to set a specific place for the child to do homework. This idea is based around association, in that the child will associate a place with doing homework in the hopes that the child will do homework in that place. This could be a certain room in the house, a desk, the kitchen table, or even the library if the child prefers that. Be sure to give the child options as Amen discussed.
Step three involves rewarding the child for completing the homework. This should be done in a few stages. Reward the child for partial completion such as completing one worksheet of their total homework amount for the day, and then reward again for the next partial segment of homework. After all of the day's homework has been completed, reward one final time. A reward can be something simple as a
Step four occurs throughout the homework process. Be sure to monitor the child's work and reward on task behavior. Making sure that the child is on task is vital in order to be sure that the child is doing homework. If their is not any supervision the child may be off task and then the place that is meant for homework will not be associated with accomplishing homework, therefor defeating the purpose of the second step.
The final idea that Flick has is to be a homework consultant for the child. If the child needs help, help only upon request. Let the child try as much on their own as possible as well as making sure the child knows that you are there to help them on homework and support them, not to put them down for not doing an assignment correctly. 2
There are five steps to accomplishing Flick's idea. The first is to have a specific time for the child to do their homework. This is to let the child know that at a certain time it is time to focus on homework, not games or friends. The goal here is to have the child only focus on one thing for a specific time.
The next step is to set a specific place for the child to do homework. This idea is based around association, in that the child will associate a place with doing homework in the hopes that the child will do homework in that place. This could be a certain room in the house, a desk, the kitchen table, or even the library if the child prefers that. Be sure to give the child options as Amen discussed.
Step three involves rewarding the child for completing the homework. This should be done in a few stages. Reward the child for partial completion such as completing one worksheet of their total homework amount for the day, and then reward again for the next partial segment of homework. After all of the day's homework has been completed, reward one final time. A reward can be something simple as a
Step four occurs throughout the homework process. Be sure to monitor the child's work and reward on task behavior. Making sure that the child is on task is vital in order to be sure that the child is doing homework. If their is not any supervision the child may be off task and then the place that is meant for homework will not be associated with accomplishing homework, therefor defeating the purpose of the second step.
The final idea that Flick has is to be a homework consultant for the child. If the child needs help, help only upon request. Let the child try as much on their own as possible as well as making sure the child knows that you are there to help them on homework and support them, not to put them down for not doing an assignment correctly. 2
Sources:
1. Daniel G. Amen, M. (2001). Healing ADD: the breakthrough program that allows you to see and heal the 6 types of ADD. New York: The Penguin Group.
2. Grad L. Flick, P. (1996). Power parenting with children with ADD/ADHD. West Nyack: The Center for Applied Research in Education.
1. Daniel G. Amen, M. (2001). Healing ADD: the breakthrough program that allows you to see and heal the 6 types of ADD. New York: The Penguin Group.
2. Grad L. Flick, P. (1996). Power parenting with children with ADD/ADHD. West Nyack: The Center for Applied Research in Education.