Parent advice
An interview with Eric Schmidt, the father of a child with ADHD, offers insight into what happens while raising a child with ADHD, as well as some advice through experience that a parent can use while raising their children.
1) At what age did you notice symptoms of ADHD from your child?
Kindergarten.
2) What were the different approaches that were taken to help ease the effects of ADHD in your child?
Consulted pediatrician, tried counseling, behavioral modification, but ultimately we tried several different forms of ADHD medications before settling on concerta as an aid that allowed him to process before acting, too focus more and as the starting point that allowed for behavior modification and learning the habits that help take control of ADHD.
3) What parenting techniques work best for raising your child with ADHD?
It's an ongoing process of education with him. We constantly work with him to try to help him control impulses before acting on them by trying to get him to explain for himself what the consequences of his actions would be, including the impact on others around him. We also try to get him to understand how his behavior can impact relationships with others. As much as I try, more patience on my part would help, too.
4) How have the effects of ADHD affected your child’s school life?
Until we found an effective medication, he had a hard time focusing on the academic aspects of class, and was prone to distraction (no surprise), talking out loud, and not being able to participate in class time in an appropriate way. Homework was also a struggle for similar reasons, and due to the fact that his medicine was wearing off before homework could be completed.
5) What steps were taken to help your child throughout their schooling?
We worked (and continue to work closely) with his teachers and school administration to make them aware of our sons issues, and to get their help finding the best methods and resources to help him. This includes creating and continually updating an individualized education plan (IEP) based on his specific needs and skill sets, working with occupational therapists, ensuring he gets accommodations for alternative testing methods such as having tests read to him, allowing more time during tests and quizzes, and other modifications to standards that allow him to thrive.
6) Was an IEP an option as a way to help your child through school?
Yes. He has benefited from having an IEP since first grade after careful and continual monitoring and feedback. Without it, I do not think he would have been nearly as successful.
7) What was your involvement with your child’s IEP?
I attended every IEP with our son. I actively participated not only in the meetings, but also helped our son apply the recommended changes both in school and after school, as well as in guiding him in realistic long term plans (after high school). As he prepares to enter college,I will ensure that he continues to get the help he needs to succeed at the college level, too.
8) What were the differences in schooling as the child moved from elementary school, to middle school, and then to high school?
It's all about scaling and maturation. When he was younger and less mature, more assistance and direct guidance was required on our part so that he remained focused and formed the beneficial habits he needs not only for education, but for life. As he grew older and moved between schools, he and I were the only constants in the IEP process. That is, when he started at a new school, he and his needs were what was contained in his records from the previous school and not personally known to the school staff involved in his IEP. At each stage, we worked with his teams to bring to light his needs, his personality, his strengths and his weaknesses so that he could continue without losing ground. Additionally, as he matured, we allowed him to take more control and ownership for his education in order to help him grow as a person and as a student. Because those with an ADHD diagnosis are also often behind others their own age, maturity wise, our role as parents and guides for him probably won't be done for a while yet.
9) What advice would you offer a parent that is entering an IEP for their child for the first time?
As a parent, know where your child's strengths and weaknesses are ahead of time. For example, we suspected that our son had some coarse and fine motor skills, which resulted in getting occupational therapy help as part of his IEP. Partner with your child's teachers outside of just IEP meetings. Touch base frequently, get to know them, and, more importantly, help them get to know you and your child. This pays off in many ways throughout your journey. His teachers and resources often came up to us at school and we had many productive, impromptu discussions regarding our child.
10) What advice would you offer for a parent deciding on methods of medication/coping for their child’s ADHD?
Remember: not all medications for ADHD affect your child the same way. We tried several different products before deciding on one that didn't leave our child in a zombie-like state while medicated, with little of his personality or sense of humor present. You must also watch for side effects. Appetite suppression is a very common issue with these medications. Do not be surprised if your child essentially "grazes" all evening after the medicine wears off!
11) What is the most important thing a parent can do to help their child stay focused at home while doing homework/chores?
The best thing you as a parent can do is figure out a routine after school that allows time for homework, snacks and unwinding that yields success for your child, then make that routine an ingrained habit for you and your child. By keeping a routine, there is less surprise, more acceptance, and more success for your child. ADHD is by its nature chaos, so a routine helps counter that problem.
Schmidt, E. (2014, March 31). Email interview.
1) At what age did you notice symptoms of ADHD from your child?
Kindergarten.
2) What were the different approaches that were taken to help ease the effects of ADHD in your child?
Consulted pediatrician, tried counseling, behavioral modification, but ultimately we tried several different forms of ADHD medications before settling on concerta as an aid that allowed him to process before acting, too focus more and as the starting point that allowed for behavior modification and learning the habits that help take control of ADHD.
3) What parenting techniques work best for raising your child with ADHD?
It's an ongoing process of education with him. We constantly work with him to try to help him control impulses before acting on them by trying to get him to explain for himself what the consequences of his actions would be, including the impact on others around him. We also try to get him to understand how his behavior can impact relationships with others. As much as I try, more patience on my part would help, too.
4) How have the effects of ADHD affected your child’s school life?
Until we found an effective medication, he had a hard time focusing on the academic aspects of class, and was prone to distraction (no surprise), talking out loud, and not being able to participate in class time in an appropriate way. Homework was also a struggle for similar reasons, and due to the fact that his medicine was wearing off before homework could be completed.
5) What steps were taken to help your child throughout their schooling?
We worked (and continue to work closely) with his teachers and school administration to make them aware of our sons issues, and to get their help finding the best methods and resources to help him. This includes creating and continually updating an individualized education plan (IEP) based on his specific needs and skill sets, working with occupational therapists, ensuring he gets accommodations for alternative testing methods such as having tests read to him, allowing more time during tests and quizzes, and other modifications to standards that allow him to thrive.
6) Was an IEP an option as a way to help your child through school?
Yes. He has benefited from having an IEP since first grade after careful and continual monitoring and feedback. Without it, I do not think he would have been nearly as successful.
7) What was your involvement with your child’s IEP?
I attended every IEP with our son. I actively participated not only in the meetings, but also helped our son apply the recommended changes both in school and after school, as well as in guiding him in realistic long term plans (after high school). As he prepares to enter college,I will ensure that he continues to get the help he needs to succeed at the college level, too.
8) What were the differences in schooling as the child moved from elementary school, to middle school, and then to high school?
It's all about scaling and maturation. When he was younger and less mature, more assistance and direct guidance was required on our part so that he remained focused and formed the beneficial habits he needs not only for education, but for life. As he grew older and moved between schools, he and I were the only constants in the IEP process. That is, when he started at a new school, he and his needs were what was contained in his records from the previous school and not personally known to the school staff involved in his IEP. At each stage, we worked with his teams to bring to light his needs, his personality, his strengths and his weaknesses so that he could continue without losing ground. Additionally, as he matured, we allowed him to take more control and ownership for his education in order to help him grow as a person and as a student. Because those with an ADHD diagnosis are also often behind others their own age, maturity wise, our role as parents and guides for him probably won't be done for a while yet.
9) What advice would you offer a parent that is entering an IEP for their child for the first time?
As a parent, know where your child's strengths and weaknesses are ahead of time. For example, we suspected that our son had some coarse and fine motor skills, which resulted in getting occupational therapy help as part of his IEP. Partner with your child's teachers outside of just IEP meetings. Touch base frequently, get to know them, and, more importantly, help them get to know you and your child. This pays off in many ways throughout your journey. His teachers and resources often came up to us at school and we had many productive, impromptu discussions regarding our child.
10) What advice would you offer for a parent deciding on methods of medication/coping for their child’s ADHD?
Remember: not all medications for ADHD affect your child the same way. We tried several different products before deciding on one that didn't leave our child in a zombie-like state while medicated, with little of his personality or sense of humor present. You must also watch for side effects. Appetite suppression is a very common issue with these medications. Do not be surprised if your child essentially "grazes" all evening after the medicine wears off!
11) What is the most important thing a parent can do to help their child stay focused at home while doing homework/chores?
The best thing you as a parent can do is figure out a routine after school that allows time for homework, snacks and unwinding that yields success for your child, then make that routine an ingrained habit for you and your child. By keeping a routine, there is less surprise, more acceptance, and more success for your child. ADHD is by its nature chaos, so a routine helps counter that problem.
Schmidt, E. (2014, March 31). Email interview.